GRATEFUL CHALLENGES 2016 – Day 341 – 365



12.07.16 – Happy to have Christmas shopping done
12.08.16 – Figured out what I was getting my brother for a present
12.09.16 – Got a check…YAY!!!
12.10.16 – Happy to not have so much anxiety for the deposition.
12.12.16 – Just happy that the holidays are almost over
12.13.16 – Adore my new RP family in second life.
12.14.16 – Got another check, just IN time….Thanks to my attorney.
12.15.16 – Packed and ready to go!!!
12.16.16 – Vacation weekend time with Master and our kid. FOUND a Fucking Tauros for Pokemon!!!! FECK YEAH!!! Our ONE year Anniversary…it is so amazing. I feel like it was only yesterday that Master collared me.
12.17.16 – The drive was pleasant, despite it killing my back. The Hotel is beautiful!!
12.18.16 – Met Master’s parents, and we baked cookies all day. WE had a blast!!!
12.19.16 – The weekend is over, and having memories to add to this year is wonderful.
12.20.16 – My niece told me she loved me. She is 2 and finally getting a personality.
12.21.16 – So happy that my new doctor finally listened to me. I feel like something good is going to finally come into helping my injury. I am so relieved.
12.22.16 – Spending time with the kids, listening to Xmas music, and enjoying our night.
12.23.16 – I am happy my brother and Daddy are becoming good friends. It is something that is needed.
12.24.16 – Wrap, Wrap, Wrapping presents..All of them for the Xmas tree…YAY….Plus stayed up all night with Master, and her partook in my tradition. Xmas music, Hot Cocoa with peppermint, and us just staring at the lights on the tree.
12.25.16 – CHRISTMAS….Presents was fun..but Master had to go to the ER. Thankfully, Master is Okay. I am relieved!
12.26.16 – Snuggles with Master for most of the day…YAY!!
12.27.16 – Not feeling good today, but happy Master doesn’t mind I get to stay in bed for most of it.
12.28.16 – Daddy’s Birthday, and my brother took him out for the evening. He had a blast, and I am happy that he had a great night.
12.29.16 – Good food, and a new television series….WOOT!
12.30.16 – Enjoyed some games with Master online. Time to relax at the end of the year.
12.31.16 – Did anyone say Masquerade ball??? Master and I went to one in Second life, because clearly…cant go in real life, but it was romantic, and so much fun!

I Am Grateful!!!

Not only am I grateful and posting this late, but I am proud that I was able to do 365 of these. It is something I endeavored on my own, and it is complete. 2016 was so hard on us, both emotionally, and physically, but I hope that 2017 brings a many great new things!


GRATEFUL CHALLENGES 2016 – Day 331 – 340


331 – Grateful that my sister is out of an abusive relationship and getting the help she needs

332 – Grateful that my Master and I found more fun things to do together.

333 – Grateful that my Master feels more like himself, even if the world doesnt like it.

334 – Grateful that I get to see my nephew and niece despite my brothers divorce

335 – Grateful that my Master says he loves my dog Toby now, instead of hating on him all the time.

336 – Grateful that I had the strength to get my mom the memorial ornament for my brother, since I knew she just couldnt fathom the thought. It is our first christmas since his passing!

337 – Grateful that I had the finances to get my baby girl the things she desired for christmas.

338 – Grateful for Master hold me close when I am in dire need, and he whispers it will be okay.

339 – Grateful that Master will be with me during some depositions for my workmens comp.

340 – Grateful that we can paint handmade porcelain ornaments with the kids this year, as is tradition!!!!

I Am Grateful!!!

Sometimes I get scared!!!


I just had to share this here. I found this beautiful, and I feel most of the time the same way. Please take a peek, I found this on tumblr.

It’s taken me 44 years to find you. You are amazing and I’m thankful every day that our paths crossed, our friendship blossomed, and our love for each other grew stronger.

But some days, I’m scared. Scared that we won’t make it through this part of our journey. Scared that the distance will win out. Scared that the amazing relationship we have will never have a chance to blossom into what we both know it can be.

I’m scared that one day I will look back and wonder “what if”. What if we had met sooner in life? What if we had just held on a little longer? What if I was a better partner in crime or a better little s? What if my heart can never heal from the scars I have from the loss of you? What if we had just thrown caution to the wind and moved in together sooner? What if I had told you and had shown you more just how special you are to me and that I’d move heaven and earth to prove it to you? I get scared that one day I won’t be able to hear your voice or the little phrases that you say each time we talk. They make me smile.

I get scared that one day you’ll realize a relationship with someone else is easier, because let’s be honest, this D/s stuff is a lot of work. I can be challenging. I cry. I’m sappy.

I fish to hear that you love me. My brain spins nonstop. I’m scared that all the good reasons to be with me and love me can’t outweigh the bad.

I’m scared that I’ll never get the chance to wake up in your arms every day or hear you walk through the front door after work. That I’ll never truly know what our 24/7 feels like because we never got a chance to live it. I’m not afraid of hard work and the ups and downs we will face as a couple. I know there are challenges ahead. The thought of moving half way across the country is daunting, but I’d rather face every challenge with you than to know what it’s like to live without you.

Sometimes I’m scared and I just need to hear you say it’s ok. We are in this together and we will close the distance. I just need to hear you say, “I love you, pet and nothing is going to change that” because sometimes I get scared.…

Forever Yours!!!


Dᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀsᴋ ᴍᴇ ʜᴏᴡ I ꜰᴇᴇʟ, ꜰᴏʀ I ᴄᴀɴ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇxᴘʟᴀɪɴ ɪᴛ.

I ᴛʀᴇᴍʙʟᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴇᴀʀ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴍɪʟᴇ ᴀᴛ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ.

I sʜᴀᴋᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴡʜɪsᴘᴇʀ sᴇᴅᴜᴄᴇs ᴍᴇ.

Usᴇ ᴍᴇ, Gᴜɪᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ, Tᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴍᴏsᴛ ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴛʟʏ, ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ, ᴍʏ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ꜰᴏʀ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs I ᴀᴍ

I ᴀᴍ ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀs!

Aᴜᴛʜᴏʀ Uɴᴋɴᴏᴡɴ

Essential Guide for Better Trust Dynamics in BDSM Domination – POSTED BY ABI BROWN


Essential Guide for Better Trust Dynamics in BDSM Domination

Trust dynamics in BDSM domination seems to be a confusing discussion topic, especially for those not in the community. What each partner involved expects and how that can work for everyone’s benefit? We’ll break it down for you.

BDSM Domination:

The Essential Guide to Trust Dynamics

There’s always a lot of talk about trust in BDSM communities. Generally speaking it’s pretty starry-eyed idealistic stuff about devotion and capitalising each other’s trousers. An excellent term that a friend of mine once came up with for the slightly irritating habit some people have of using a capital letter for a dominant’s pronouns; much in the same way as one does for actual God. That stuff is all well and good. The real meat of kinky trust dynamics is genuinely fascinating. Not just because it works in both directions.

It’s vital for submissives to trust their dominants…

To respect safewords. The absolute crux of trust in BDSM relationships is, of course, the safeword. To a certain extent, this is where that trust begins and ends. A dominant who ignores a safeword is at best a shitty dominant, and at worst a rapist. If there is any doubt in your mind that your safeword will be respected, you need to deal with it immediately.

To fulfill aftercare needs. Most people need a little bit of aftercare following an intense BDSM scene. For some people, this is a pretty involved process requiring snacks and blankets and cuddles. I generally speaking just want the other person to not completely disappear for ten minutes or so till my headspace has realigned itself. I might occasionally ask them to fetch me a glass of water, but that’s about it. There are other people still who actively want to be left at this point, and are better off alone for a while. Whatever your thing is, it’s important that you know you can trust the people you play with to do it for you.

To respect limits & look out for them. We all secretly want to be the Mythical Limitless Submissive, but none of us are ever actually going to be. Chances are you have an idea of what your own hard and soft limits are. So it’s important that you communicate those clearly in advance of playing with someone new. Once you’ve done that, the onus is on them to respect those limits. It’s okay to push at them and testing them can be a lot of fun. It’s only cool if you’ve agreed that you’re interested in playing that way. However it’s never okay to pester you about something you’ve said a hard no to. A dom who repeatedly refuses to respect your limits is not a dom you should feel comfortable trusting.

To be receptive & communicative. Sometimes, issues come up in kinky relationships that don’t quite fit into safewords or limits. My pain threshold is a lot higher if I’ve been properly warmed up. Meaning start light and gradually ramp up the intensity and I’ll keep going like the proverbial frog in a saucepan. But if you whale straight in at full tilt there’s a good chance I’ll just jump out again. I had one partner who didn’t seem to understand this at all.

He got bored doing the warm-up, and enjoyed my reaction when he went straight in at the top. He just wished I’d last longer with it, especially seeing as he’d seen me take much harsher beatings from other people. I had this conversation with him again and again, but I never really felt like he understood what I was saying. In the end, it was one of the major things that led to the end of our relationship. If he’d been able to hear what I was saying – and accept that he might be screwing up – we’d have got along much better.

…but it’s just as important for a dominant to trust their submissive.

To safeword when they need to. Your dom needs to be able to trust you to understand your own needs. Know your thresholds and desires well enough to use your safeword if you need them to stop. Ignoring an agreed-upon safeword makes a dominant an abuser, but there’s a flip side to that. If you have a safeword and you don’t use it, you have not withdrawn your consent.

That’s not to say that I don’t understand how it can be difficult sometimes. It very much is, and it may be that you need to talk to your partner about things that will make it easier for you. There have been a few times in my life when in hindsight I should have used a safeword but didn’t. Those experiences were unpleasant, but they are at the end of the day, not the other person’s fault. A dom who knows that they can trust you to safeword if you need to can relax. They can go to deeper and more intense places you wouldn’t get to explore with them otherwise.

To communicate & fulfill aftercare needs. Despite their best efforts to convince us otherwise, doms are not psychic. If you need a particular thing doing after an intense session: tell them that – preferably in advance. Remember also that dominants get a come down too. Aftercare can be just as important for them. Simply cuddling up to someone while they reset their headspace into something less intense can make a huge difference to them.

To keep figuring out & sharing their limits. Limits change over time, and many people find that their boundaries are always in flux. I’m not a big fan of anal sex and generally count it as a ‘soft limit’. In my D/s relationships it tends to be reserved for punishments. Some days it’s a hard limit for me. When I feel that way about it, my doms need to be able to trust me to communicate that. It’s absolutely okay to have limits and comfort levels that aren’t always the same. What isn’t okay is to get cross about having those changing limits approached if you haven’t explained what they are.

To not get weird when something goes wrong. Things don’t always work out perfectly. Doms are taking just as much of a risk as subs are – more, if you’re worried about the potential to make a fool of yourself! Submissives need to be understanding and generous to their dominants when a comment hits the wrong note. Or if a strike doesn’t quite land where it was intended to.

We need to keep communicating honestly and openly without assuming our dominants are somehow psychic. We need to take responsibility for our own decisions to use safewords and outline limits. If we’re doing all that properly, the dominants we play with will feel safer and more comfortable with us. In return they’re better able to go to deeper and more incredible places with us. Everybody wins.