Who says I need you?

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I have been soooo sick lately, to the point I do NOT wish to get out of bed. Pnuemonia, Strep, etc etc etc. Not fun. Nor is it fun to be this sick, and to have someone nagging in your ear all day long. It truly bothers me. I think my family just tolerates me.

So I am sitting here, eating lunch, just browsing facebook, watching whatever show is on T.V. I think it was, Say yes, to the dress. I am having to do this, while listening to my mom talk to my sister, about some movie coming out, about the past, how an African American, Wants to Marry a Caucasian, and they were both arrested?

I over heard my mother say…LOVE is LOVE…That is so wrong. The heart wants, what it wants. I am all for following love, no matter how that is. THIS made me shake my head. She doesn’t believe this. She just wants to appease my liberal minded sister. So I made a comment. That is you truly believe this, you wouldn’t care if Homosexuals got married.

She rolled her eyes and said it isnt the same thing. However, to me it is. It is just not based on skin, but based on genitals. How is that not different? Being told you cannot marry a white person, because of the color of your skin is the exact same thing as being told you cannot marry someone, because of what is inside your pants!!!

I am a Humanist. Do what you want, whatever it is, that makes you happy, so long as it does not harm the life of another. Whether it be a Person, or another living being. Minus sustenance, that of course is just the circle of life. My mom had the nerve to argue with me for a moment, and then she tells my sister.

Oh, it is just your sister, telling me how much of a shitty person I am, like always!!!

SAY WHAT?????

FIRST: I NEVER NEVER implied, or said, she was a shitty person. Despite her flaws, she is my mother, and I love her, and I was raised to respect your parents. On Top of it, I am the ONLY child out of four to step in and take care of her. She was deathly fricken Ill, but none of the others wanted to have to move in and do it. I being the oldest stepped up, because I was raised to honor thy parents, and duty to your family, blah blah blah!!!

Also, I pay a shit ton of money right now to support her and my step dad. They are both disabled, but…when my other siblings move in, or my step brother with his herd of 7 kids, and two wives, move in, they do NOT….I repeat…NOT pay a fucking DIME!!! What is wrong with this picture?

So I am in the total belief that not only am I being used, but I am of course NOT appreciated, NOR do I feel they even want me in their lives. They do not support that I am dating a FtM. They do not care how I feel, and only speak to me if they need something. Not just my parents, but my siblings as well.

So, it only makes me sad. Sad that when I think about it…once I move out..if Master leaves..I am totally alone. Sad that the people I love the most in the world. That I have given my life to make sure they had one, doesnt care.

BUT, I am certain about one thing!!!

They will always need me, far more than I will EVER need them!!!

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