People dove right into bdsm after the fifty shades of grey books hit the market. More than 80 million copies sold, and of course then they turned it into a movie. I am not a fan. I do not believe I will ever be a fan. As a submissive, of course I want things brouht to light. I want the world to accept our lifestyle, but when crap literature comes out, for lonely housewives, they get their minds stirring in wrong directions.
Instead of researching, learning, and buildingg trust with partners, they take the book and movie for what it is worth. To me I saw them as bdsm is abuse, and not for a meaningful connection or relationship. Granted there are those that do it just for sex, and on the weekends, but here I am. I am into it for the long term. It isn’t abuse, but when you have peoplem entering our lifestyle, without knowledge t becomes scary.
As a submissive it is even scarier. I have a friend that is very submissive, but she believes she has to be so to every single person. I am different. I am submissive to my master. I show respect to other doms but I dont just do what they tell me to, like my friend does. When a woman reads these books, watches these movies, and they go. Oh, he cannot love me, and I cannot be respected, but he can abuse and fuck me, then it is dangerous. Not only to their body, but their emotional state. Anyman or woman claiming to be a dom, can seriously take advantage of these submissives, and they dont know any better, because they didnt do their proper research. Sometimes even reserch is not enough to stay safe either. We need to have patience. We all want to dive in immediately, with anyone that will have us, but sometimes, that is wrong.
One thing that shocked me however, was finding out some of the kinks of one of my friends. I knew she was into bdsm, she is a little, and has a daddy dom, but I always found her so innocent. She never talked about sex, but she does write a blog. She found out I blog as well so we shared links. I found out ALL sorts of new things. Like, how she is into water sports. I never knew she would be. It shocked me, and changed my entire view of her. Of course, not for the worst. It brought us closer. This is my point though. We do not truly know anyone. We ONLY know what they let us know. This is why it is a need for everyone to do their research, AND have patience when finding play partners. It only takes someone ONE time to tie you down, and seriously hurt you.
Trust me, I know from experience!!!
I have to be careful as well. There are fantasies out there I have, that tend to be a little extreme. I wouldn’t call them unfulfilled because really they are fantasies. Some of them I might be able to get past my shyness, and tell my master, but some need to stay where they are. In my head. There are fantasies, like one my master talks about. Tying me to a table, blindfolded at our local dungeon, and just letting people come and touch me, and stuff, under his supervision. That one sounds fun and I feel safe, because my master will make sure I am. Though some of my other ones, here master hires two men to abduct and use me. Not sure I would actually be alright with that, so that one for now stays in the spank bank!