The Five Stages of Submission

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1.Determination
2. Realization
3. Defiance
4. Discipline
5. Absolute Obedience, and Exquisite beauty

While at a discussion the other day in second life the group was asked what are the five stages of submission. This made me start thinking. I don’t even know if there is a set list to go by. However I wanted to discuss some of the answers I came up with. Perhaps elaborate on why I think this list is the perfect set up for becoming a submissive, and giving over my submission.

I say determination for many reasons. Well you enter this place freely, or not. You are determined to stay who you are. True to you center, but even as such it can never be. You have been raised a certain way, and society doesn’t help our minds either. We are taught since children to behave a certain way, expect certain things, and stick to society driven agendas and rolls. So, no matter how determined you are to stay yourself, or determined to succeed in being a properly trained submissive, truth is. You wont!

You will come to the realization of things. Like me it took years to understand and accept things, and even now I still struggle most days. The realization might be different for each submissive, but for me, it was finally realizing that despite how I was raised, and despite how society wants me to be, it was okay to just say, this is me. This is who I want to be. Who says I have to be something different, or have to conform to what society says. It could very much also be a realization that indeed you are submissive!

Both of which makes you defiant. You understand this is who you are, but it scares you. You aren’t so easily accepted into society even more, so you feel more like an outsider. This hurts, because you spend your entire life trying to fit in, only to find you really dont. To admit these things publicly is to be ridiculed. My family now knows, and they mock me. The very people whom are to love you unconditionally, are now that ones that tease me, and make fun of me. Despite it all, I am safely in a place where I dont care, I am happy now. Though this wasnt always so. I used to feel so ashamed, so alone. It made me act out, disobey my master’s rules, and because of this transition, I lost many good master’s because of it.

My current master, whom I hope is my forever master, doesnt put up with it. Sure sometimes he allows me to get away with small things, but that is his choice. He allows it. He however is quick to punish me, which is his teaching. I have an action and with that action, a reaction. Which is often times, my ass being whipped with the cane. A submissive needs to be disciplined, it is one way for us to learn. You can train us, day in, day out, but without that whip, and that knowledge that if we do in fact step out of line, you will be there to correct it, we really wont take it seriously. Let alone, for me, when I start feeling chaotic, lost, alone, scared, or defiant, my master’s whip helps to ground me. Brings me back to my center.

Eventually it brings you back to the final stage. Being who you are, accepting it, and just being happy with it. For me I am still insecure about things. Mostly how I look, I tend to not feel beautiful, but it is due to many reasons. I get punished by the way if I speak negatively about myself. I can wite about my feelings, but I am not permitted to put myself down. I accept who I am, and when we are in situations that are in fact comfortable. For instance with people at the dungeon. I have small insecurities with my body, but once we get there, and I get naked, and we talk with others, and I am in my place, it is so liberating. I feel free, at home, peaceful. I can be accepted, and I feel accepted, and this makes it that much more easier to just be me. At some point on your road to submission you will get there. Once you do, you will understand how freeing it is.

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One thought on “The Five Stages of Submission

  1. My only comment don’t fuss over too much of ‘what you should be’ or ‘what other people think you should be.’ Submission is a beautiful gift you give to a dominate but, at the same time never forsake that and not have a relationship with your dominate. Learning to trust is going to be key in any relationship, understanding each other’s roles in the relationship, and being neutral in the relationship. There are going to be days that you both need to be on the same level and subconsciously you know he could take over at any second, but you’re not worried about that, your just you, on the same level just having fun. Don’t stress too much about ‘what I need to be’ let it come naturally because you love this person and want to serve them.

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