When I feel ignored

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It makes me want to do stupid things.
It makes me not want to be cuddly and nice even when it is me who is making the problem worse
It makes it really easy to say things I shouldn’t.

And the horrible thing is I really feel those stupid things, I don’t just say them to get a rise out of you.

I’m not the most submissive person in the world but I respond well to positive reenforcement.
When you tell me you miss me or you love me or you’re proud of me I go about ten million extra miles to keep that kind of verbal praise coming. And it isn’t just words to me.

If I feel loved I’m less inclined to be jealous.
I’m more inclined to be generous and playful and adventurous.

https://fetlife.com/users/1585164/posts/2272979

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3 thoughts on “When I feel ignored

      • Ignoring is manipulative and has no place in a loving relationship. It doesn’t have the power to heal, only to hurt. It breeds resentment and erodes trust.

        It’s a lazy way out of conflict and really only shows a lack of imagination in leadership and a deficit in open communication skills.

        We all can fall into this bad habit. I’ve had to retrain myself not to do it, and instead find the vulnerability to express my hurts and trust my partner to respond in a way that leads us back to understanding.

        Lashing out in anger or closing off and shutting down are both maladaptive behaviors. They don’t teach you to be better, but teach you instead to fear and can raise the insecurity level, which, in this lifestyle is never a good outcome.

        😦 I’m sorry for your ouchies. It’s just no fun.

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