Ignoring in a D/s relationship
Found on Facebook- Author if I read correctly -southerndom
Just thought I would share
Let me start this off by saying first and foremost. You Do not use ignoring for any period of time as a punishment.
In a D/s relationship there are a multitude of ways you can as a Dom, punish your submissive. Whether they be your pet, little, sub, slave, anything. There are many many good ways you can punish them. You can do pain to a point, take away orgasm, take away their favorite junk food, you can sit them in the corner, you can make them write lines, you can do so many different things that will show them You are their Dom and they are yours. They belong to you and will know better than to disobey you.
One thing you Never ever do is ignore your submissive. If you are angry and you can’t even speak to them. It must have been pretty intense, but you tell them “Hey I need a bit of space I have to clear my head I will talk to you in a bit” That way you can go and relax and take a breather and assess the situation. You do not think “Okay I’m going to ignore her for 4 days” And Honestly in a D/s relationship. The punishment HAS to fit the crime. If my baby girl back talked I wouldn’t make her do something that has nothing to do with what she did. I had a friend who joked with her “dom” in a serious conversation. What did he do? He ignored her for 4 days. And texted her the morning on the 4th day saying her punishment was over.
I am pretty sure any real Daddys/Mommys, Dom/mes, Tops, Masters/Mistress, anyone right now who has been a Dominant is angry with that up there. He did not tell her he was going to ignore her. He simply stopped reading and replying to any message she sent him. As any of Us know. that is completely and utterly WRONG. I talked to 2 of my switch friends and they both said the same thing. This guy was no Dom he was a “dom” Playing on this submissives emotion. When I said to my friend she should tell him how she feels she replied she didn’t want to upset him and get punished more. Now..as a Daddy my little girl knows to fear when I am mad. But she knows if she has any fear what so ever, any pain, anything she is to come to me and talk to me and we will discuss anything without punishment. My rule is literally “3. Any and all concerns must be brought up, with no fear of punishment.”
Now here is why you do not use ignoring as a punishment.
It is emotionally hard on the submissive. If you don’t tell her what is going on she is wondering where you went..if you abandoned her. I know most submissives myself included are very needy. And it’s not a bad needy. It’s the need for their Dom. It’s the want to hear them and know that they are there for you 24/7. When you cut that tie as a punishment you throw up a red flag saying that you are not a dom with experience or at that moment care for your submissive.
When you ignore for an extended period of time, well even a day. You damage your relationship. You put a tear in it that maybe small at first, but it may get bigger. And it can unless you rectify what you did. As Doms we are trusted with the submission of our submissives. It is one of the best gifts anyone can receive. And ignoring them is horrible. It hurts your submissive and your relationship even if you don’t think it will.
To me I see intentional and purposeful ignoring as a form of manipulation. You know what is going on, you know you are not replying and yet you continue on with your day. Frankly I don’t understand how someone can ignore their submissive for any time period. I love talking to baby girl and when we don’t talk yes I do miss her.
Remember this to anyone new in the D/s, DD/lg, BDSM world. Ignoring is not an okay punishment. If anyone punishes you by ignoring you that is a red flag and you should walk away from them. Your submission is a gift that you can take away at any moment. You are the ones in power at the end of the day. Without you..us Doms would be pretty damn lost.