So our tax return finally got here. Which was a blessing. Granted it was already spent before we got it, because of bills and what not. Such is the life of poor people LOL. A while back I wrote about my Hitachi wand basically catching on fire and burning my pussy. So, it was broken, and I needed a new one. So we went to the sex store. We bought a body wand this time, an anal beginners kit, a board game called fetishes, some candle wax, a box of condoms, AND our first flogger!
We get home, and it’s like Christmas. We didn’t use ALL the toys that time, just the bullet the game, our new body wand, and the condoms. The condoms we got for Daddy, because Mistress wanted to try a threesome, where he fucked her. I cannot get pregnant but there is a chance she could have. So I watched my Mistress get fucked by Daddy. It was erotic, and Daddy is naturally dominant and so it was slightly hard to see him take control of my Mistress.
I thought it would affect my mind set of her. Make me lose respect for her, as my Dom, but it didn’t. I think it helped me to process and enjoy it because during the scene I called her Mistress. Which never took her out of my mind as my dominant regardless of what was going on. My favorite part during the scene was when she was on her hands and knees, and Daddy was fucking her from behind. She was between my legs and eating my pussy.
At the end Mistress cried. I held her, after care, and such even our Dominants need it. There is a lesson to be learned. It has been an issue between Mistress and I since it happened. During the scene Mistress felt uncomfortable. She was feeling violated, but she didn’t call the safe word, because she felt obligated after saying yes to it, and because it was her idea! Also during the scene her mind was foggy with so much going on!
At first I was very upset that she had during the time told me she was enjoying herself. I checked on her every so often to make sure. So I had trouble coping with knowing how she felt truly. It is very important to use a safe word. It is very important to feel safe during a scene, and to trust those around you.
Trust is something that is hard for me!!!
Mistress has had trauma from the past, just like I have, and just like everyone in the world has. We are different, we react differently. Everyone thinks that Dominants are supposed to be these big tough, always in control people, that are never afraid, never have doubts, or never allow anything to trouble them.
throws her fist and in the air and says, “Grrr I am Dominant, hear me roar!!!”
That isn’t the case. Mistress didn’t want to let me down, so she pushed herself, and in the end it was no safe for her! We strive for a safe, sane, and consensual relationship, and this caused rift in our relationship. I can empathize with how she felt. When Mistress was helping me push through my fear of bondage, because of my past abuse, I wanted her to go farther, because in my mind I was ready, and willing to go to the extremes. Mistress would not let me! Which looking back now, I am thankful for.
So after a few days of me feeling betrayed, as if my Mistress lied to me. I realized she was in the same spot. She thought she could push herself, to not let me down, to think I would be upset if she called our safe word. She is such a strong person! We talked it out. I informed her that I would NEVER be angry if she called a safe word. Whether it is because she cant handle doing something TO me, or having somethingDONE to her!!!
We experiment, we try new things, we feel it out. If we don’t like it, we don’t do it. If one of doesn’t like it at all, we just DONT do it!!! I am willing to try things I may not be sure on. If its not something I hate, and Mistress loves it, I will do it again, but if it is something I cannot stand, it hurts too much, makes me sick, or emotionally I cannot handle it, I will let her know.
She knows now that she can do the same, and as my Dominant, sheSHOULD be the first one to call a safe word in any scene, because not only is it safe for her, and keeps her mind safe, it is guiding me to feel more secure, more trusting, and safe as well.
Please let this be a message to those out there!
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO USE YOUR SAFE WORDS!!!
- Be Safe
- Be Sane
- Be Consensual
Your girl loves you, my Mistress. I am sorry our relationship took a small hit, but I am thankful we worked through this, and that we have grown to be stronger for it!!!