Mistress and I talk so much about me putting myself down. I am a pessimist. Always seeing the worst in situations, before I see ANY good. For my entire life I have been put down, and it isn’t by strangers. It is by people that should love me unconditionally. People who should have brought me up, and encouraged me at all times. Picking me up when I fail, or holding me when I thought my life was over after my first break up. Yet mine did not. So I can see why my Mistress keeps reinforcing that I am beautiful, smart, funny, she is trying to reverse the damage, and my thinking.
She constantly calls me her Good Girl. Most of the time I do not feel like I am. I do enjoy hearing her say it, but what do I really do to deserve it? I could sit here writing the long list of items like, massaging her feet, cooking her food, doing her laundry. yada yada but these things are mundane. Anyone could do this, and it doesn’t make it special. I think to classify being a Dom’s good girl it needs to require something a bit more significant that normal day to day chores.
So what makes me a good girl? What is so significant that I deserve such a title? I have been sitting here for two days trying to figure this out as well. So after a few days of thinking, and nearly pulling all my hair out of my head trying to figure this out. I have to say that it has to be my passion. I don’t mean my insatiable desire to be her dirty little fuck toy. Not that kind of passion. I am talking about passion to serve her.
I put her needs before my own. Sometimes so much that it angers her when she finds out that I was unhappy about something. Isn’t that what a submissive does? Put their owners needs before their own? That is what I do. She is always on my mind, to the point that I am constantly trying to find new ways to please her, to make her smile, laugh, and feel loved and wanted. I need her to feel loved, wanted, and adored.
I need this so much so because she makes me feel these things. She treats me well, and doesn’t abuse me at all. Granted we have our kinky fun times, but she has never abused me. So yes, I think it is everything that wraps me up as a good girl. My devotion in serving her. My loyalty when others attempt to steal my heart from her. The trust I put into her, which for me doesn’t com easily for anyone, but deep down. Deep down I trust her, and I cannot fathom why.
I know I am far from perfect, sometimes I laugh and pretend to be, and my cocky asshole side is there. Yet I am humbled. I am always eager to learn new things, especially as a submissive. I want to be trained, and retrained, mentored, and polished from this dirty lump of coal, into a beautiful diamond all for her. That is just it though, all I want to do is be better, for her!
I get insecure, we all do at some point, but I think I strive to push myself to be better. I know my past haunts me, and as much as my Mistress says it doesn’t exist anymore, it is still there. I try hard to push through it. To ignore the triggers, and work through it. She helps me with it too. It makes me feel closer to her. It makes me want to be even more submissive, more pleasing.
So in a nutshell it is everything. My want to serve her. My want to be pleasing. My want to better my life so I can better serve her. I love and worship her. So much. All I want to do in my life is be that good girl for my Mistress. To share my life with her. Support her, take care of her. It is my passion for HER that makes me a good girl
Your Girl Loves You My Mistress!!!!