I have often pondered on what my life would be like if I made different decisions! For instance if I opted not to take care of my dying mother, then I could go about whatever it was I wanted. If I didnt choose to adopt my little girl, and just gave in to the fact I cannot actually have kids, so maybe that was a sign to NOT have kids? If I did that I would be more about working with more clients for my photography business. I could focus on that, and truly dive deep into the creative career I have chosen. I wouldnt be thinking of returning to school to become a social worker. Thats for sure.
In fact I would be living in my own place, with my partner. We could travel, and explore every aspect we wanted within the realms of our D/s lifestyle. I would never leave my chosen role, and we would host devine dinner parties, go to events related to our lifestyle, and become well known throughout the BDSM community. In fact in a perfect world I would never screw up, EVER! My Dom would have to punish me just for behaving *laughs*
Thats a perfect world however, and such a Utopia does not exist for me. Of course the decisions I have made helped me to FIND my way into the lifestyle, and I honestly do not think I would change things. My belief is everything happens for a reason. So what has happened in my life up to now, good or bad was meant to for a reason.
In the words of my mentor, Seven, *come out of the alagory cave!!!” and I believe I have come out. I have seen what the world is, and what could be. Of course Seven wasnt the ONLY mentor for me. I have had a few, and yes even past Dom’s I consider mentors. They taught me things as well, the good with the bad. Now some of my mentors have spoken with my Dominant, and have even assisted when we have hit issues that punishment couldnt solve, and well it is always nice to sometimes have that medium in there to help if you and your partner cannot resolve an issue.
Like when I feel personally that outside of the D/s dynamic I am far better at being in charge with certain things. Like, raising my daughter with certain things, or making decisions in regards to my health care and such. Sometimes there is a battle. This is when I have to step outside of the D/s dynamic and just say look. On an equal level, I feel personally that I know more about a certain situation to handle some decisions on my own. Sometimes it doesnt go over well, but or the most part it can be worked through.
Remember, relationships are NOT disney, happily ever fairytales. They are hard work, and if you arent willing to fight to keep your relationship, well then its time to move on.