I am certain many people that read my blog posts, are facepalming screaming that I repeat the same thing over and over again. The ONE thing I would love to tell my younger self would be that whatever you feel is right in a relationship, is right. Dont believe in disney fairytale romances. They do not portray a real relationship. In fact most movies do not. You know what they do, do? They set you up for dissapoinment. Love, and Relationships are NOTHING like movies. Especially when it gets tough. It isnt all fun and games. I mean look at your relationship. Really look at it. In movies, its all fun and games. Amazing dates, and what not. They are always out having fun, shopping, dining, but do you ever see the struggle in them? Where are the living paycheck to paycheck movies about love? Where are the movies of relationships where you have to stay in, make a sandwhich for dinner and watch television for a date because you are both too broke to go anywhere??? THATS REAL RELATIONSHIPS!
I cant afford lavish trips all the time, or constantly going out. I try to get out as much as possible, even if it means just packing a lunch and driving somewhere. Sunshine is what counts. I used to do a lot of hiking, until I broke my knee, while dancing. Though despite not being able to do most of what I used too, I still try to take care of my partner. Things I do mostly involve cleaning the house and preparing meals. The *womanly* thing to do. I can see the feminists rolling their eyes now, and people going…thats not gender specific to just females, but I was raised the old fashioned way.
Other things I do are ensuring their health is being maintained. Make sure doctors are visited and planned when needed. Keeping up with health regiments, medications, and what not. I mean the sexual side to it as well. Always gotta make sure your partner is satisfied in that department. I also always like to make sure they are happy, no matter what that means. When I notice they want something, but are too frugal or stubborn to get it, I always save up to make sure they get it, and ALSO….I leave notes. As girly, and sappy as it sounds, I leave notes. Little notes, in lunches, coat pockets, and stuff, to just remind them that I am thinking of them, and that I care. Of course there is always after care. I know they say its mainly for the submissive, but you know what. I firmly believe Dominants need aftercare as well. I like to snuggle, and kiss, and just touch my partners body. That is part of my aftercare as well I suppose, but I do enjoy it.
I have however been in sub drop a lot, and its not due to lack of aftercare. The best way I can describe it for me is like being high off a drug, and then going through withdrawls while detoxing. Though I admit I have only hit subspace like two times ever. Though I do often get depressed with the lack of being able to be open about my submissiveness. Sometimes to the point of me acting out. Like if I hit subdrop, and I have informed my dominant of it, but nothing changes, or I feel neglected, I will act out for attention, even if its negative attention.
I am sure I am not the only one that does this. Even when I do this, despite what attention I get from it, I have begged to be punished. ESPECIALLY when I know I am to be respectful out in public, and I dont behave, I have come home and begged to be punished, which if you have followed my posts and what not, you know how I feel on begging, and the fact verbally I suck at begging! So for me to beg to be punished, or disciplined, means something to me.
I am a laid back person, but often if I am not doing anything to work my mind I am bored, and miserable. I am constanty researching stuff, reading stuff, writing stuff, learning new things. I am very artistic, and creative, but I have to admit, when I am not in subby mode, my greatest pleasure is the ocean. EVERYTHING to do with the ocean! The sounds, the feelings, the smell, the creatures in it, the sand at the beach. It is the ONE thing that truly calms me down! Even when I am misbehaving and if I am in deep supdrop, by golly, get me to the ocean!