– “That which yields is not always weak.” – Jacqueline Carey — Kushiel’s Dart
Being in this lifestyle, you have rules and such to follow. Different couples have different dynamics, high protocol, low protocol, even certain rituals or things your Dominant has informed you as rules can be protocols. Hygiene, chores, can all become protocol, but what most are familiar with are things like, Yes Sir, No Sir, etc. I consider that as low protocol, being able to relax with your Dominant. Sitting at his feet on your ass. High Protocol calls for formal settings, always kneeling, never breaking your sub speech, etc. So yes in my lifestyle I would believe protocol is there to not only keep me in my mindset, but to make sure that in during settings I am not only respectful, but safe.
Protocol also keeps things from well, getting out of hand. Like for instance when you are told to be in high protocol, but oops someone ate broccoli for dinner, and thus a fart is released? Being told to be silent, during a scene, but what your Dom is doing tickles to damn much but instead of a normal laugh, you get that uncontrollable snorting giggle. Or how about when you are wrestling for that bit of rough kinky play, and SHOOT I accidentlly stabbed my Dom in the eye with my new manicure he let me get for being a good submissive??? AND yes….YES these have happened to me…and YES Women fart!!! Men can get over the fact that women do not fart or OH MAH GOD…Make a Duece!!!
When it comes to disagreements, it is hard to not get offended, to step out and throw a tantrum. TRUST ME…..I have stomped my foot and said..NO!!! In a stern voice TRYING to sound like I mean it. No we have learned to handle thing wisely. When there is a disagreement, whether it be a Dom side, or the sub side..thats what your SAFEWORD is for…Mine is Red, yellow, green the normal ones, dont need to get all fancy and get confused during scening and stuff. Anyways once that safeword is called, we stop..immediately. Then we discuss what the issue was, but be dont do it as Dom/sub. We step out of the dynamic completely, and talk as two equals. Once it has been addressed we get back into the dynamic!
There is no reason to have harsh feelings when someone calls their safeword to discuss an issue or disagreement! There is however need to keep protocol. If you and your Dom set the protocol for the night, try not to break it. It isnt always about following orders. Sometimes its to keep you safe, like at munches and dungeon play dates.