For the longest time I heard, you are submissive. You arent the same as a Dominant. You should know your place, its on your knees, and shutting your mouth. Etc Etc Etc. Now, my current Master has NEVER treated me like that. He isnt a douche!
So when I saw this it hit the center. Just because someone takes on the role as Dominant, or submissive, it doesnt make them any less a person, or any greater. The ones that want to use that to their advantage arent Dominant or submissive.
We take on the roles in a relationship. Even in vanilla relationships. There is always a person doing something for their spouse or partner, and vice versa. D/s is a RELATIONSHIP! Just because I choose to wear his collar, and serve him, doesnt mean I cant be treated with respect, kindness, compassion, love, etc.
I hope you enjoy the article below. I did!
I think a common misunderstanding in D/s relationships is the assumption that one person is stronger, smarter, or more capable than the other simply because they have taken on the role as dominant. I’d like to challenge that way of thinking because to me, both parties are equal, they have just taken on different roles.
We each come into the lifestyle with our own expectations of what we are looking to get out of this. For the top, they feel most comfortable when they have full control over a situation or scene, for a bottom, we feel most secure when we are able to give up our control.
Each side of the coin has its place. Each role we take on within this lifestyle helps to heal our spirits in some way. Just because one person gets their healing from inflicting pain (sadist) and one heals from receiving pain (masochist), that does not make one a god and one a mortal.
We are each human. We are each journeying together. Looking for the prize of self acceptance and passionate love that flows outside of ourselves.
So, when you play the victim in a scene, remember it’s just granting you a new perspective. When you play the tormentor, you are simply finding a way to express yourself and the desires that live inside you.
I am a student and a teacher. I am a mother and a child. I am a dreamer that also needs to nightmare.
The roles I take on don’t make me less of a person, they make me whole.