A wonderful insight from templeofbabalon on Tumblr:
“Ah yes, the sight of a pissed off submissive. “I’ll do it, but I won’t like it.” How familiar this is to me…
The subs in books may be full of ‘yes sir’, ‘thank you sir’, ‘thank you for deigning to give me a moment of your attention sir’, but the reality is a little different. Subs get pissed off, they fight, they strop. A good test of whether a Dom has any real experience, or is just an internet Dom, a Dom in his dreams, is whether he expects to be adored every moment, expects never a cross word, expects total politeness at all times. If he does, he really doesn’t know a thing about being in a real, long term, physical, D/s relationship.
Good subs are strong, independently minded, self confident girls. They like their power to be taken away from them, they get satisfaction from being broken, they thrill to a force greater than they can resist. But they do not instantly, unconditionally, and with complete poise and pleasure, submit. Some fight, some whine, some get angry or indignant, some sulk, some thrash around. Many will be told that as a result of this they aren’t ‘real submsissives’. The only answer to this is ‘No, you just aren’t a real enough Dom to deal with me.’
Subs challenge, test and fight. Then they lose. And reveal that losing was what they wanted all along. We have to be able to look past the anger and rejection and know that what we are doing is exactly what they want anyway. That there will be a moment when it flips, and resistance turns to surrender, hate to love, and pain to… well, pain that is less of an issue.
Don’t reject a sub because she’s fucked off. Show her your Will is greater than her petulance, and that you know better than she does what she needs.
She wants to submit… but she wants to know you’re worthy of it.”