I had to share this because I was recently in a relationship with someone I truly and deeply cared for. He was getting me to open up after Carlos died. He had another submissive and normally I do not do that. I really dont like to share my Dom because I usually get neglected or left behind and then released. So he said it wouldnt be an issue. EVERYTHING was going amazing, until he said he wouldnt tell her. That didnt sit well with me. It got to the point where he only came around when he wanted to fuck me, and that wasnt good for me either. D/s is more than just sex! So I ended up walking away! Then I saw this, and had to share!!!
1. If I’m emotionally invested in someone, I need to know I’m able to be there to support them as needed.
2. If I’m emotionally invested in someone, I need to know that they will also be there to support me as needed.
3. If I care deeply for someone, I want to be able to gush about it until my face falls off. Shutting away a part of me that makes me happy, makes me unhappy.
(Yes, I know some poly situations preclude that in everyday vanilla life, but at least they leave the option of being open within the community.)
4. I want to partake in all aspects of my partners’ lives. I want to meet their friends, spend time with their children, laugh about cute things they do with their other partners even. I want them to be those things in my life. Being cut off from that tends to make it only be about one thing.
(See disclaimer on #3)
5. I’ve done this dance before. After the better part of a year talking about “what could be if we only got the chance,” she left him and I was still nothing more than an easy lay because that’s what I made myself by becoming involved in that capacity in the first place.
6. Im tired of situations that guarantee I get hurt. I value my mental and emotional stability.
7. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. I care about my partners and metamours.
8. Empty promises are the quickest way to break me emotionally.
9. I can’t trust someone with whom I build a foundation on lies and deceit.
10. I want my partners to value and respect me as much as I value and respect them. Making myself a piece on the side precludes that and I value myself enough to realize that now.