So my Master and I had our first argument. It wasnt a bad one or anything. Just a huge misunderstanding. My friend and I were building a sim in second life from the ground up for Gorean Rp. It was to become the village of Harfax! The sim owner would come down saying how much she loved it, how beautiful it was, how we gave her what she dreamed of. Which made me happy. We spent two hard weeks doing this, taking time for ourselves to get it done.
Come to find out after we finished she wouldnt pay the 2k I asked for to give to my building partner, and in fact returned ALL of our stuff. She said she didnt like it after all and will do it herself. Not only did this piss me off, but she doesnt know Gor at all!! So now I see her as a joke, and well she talked about getting used by a man, and she turned around and used others. Karma will get her in the long run!!!
So I spent the last 10 minutes of my night arguing with her over payment, which I now will not receive. My Master got upset because I had to log for bed, and he felt neglected since I didnt devote my time to him, instead of arguing. Alright I can see why he is upset, but here I am upset too. Part of me felt like he should have just hugged me and said it would be okay, but in the long run I do see his side, and I should have spent it with him instead.
I am not the best at being a submissive/slave type of person. I do try really really hard, but in the long run I am just human, and will constantly fuck up. I just hope its not to the point he boots my ass out the door. So today I feel a little uneasy. Like I am walking on shells yet again for someone. I hope this feeling passes!!!