Sick

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Not many people know but I am suffering from severe health issues. It is one reason why I am taking forever to write anything here. The doctors think I have a brain tumor, and I await my cat scan. I am always tired and my head never stops pounding and the pressure gets worse everyday. On top of that my diabetes are way out of control so with new medication I am hoping to get some reins on that.

So much has happened lately to put into words. All these emotions I am feeling; changes in my life. It is scary to think that I will be stuck in the state I am for many more years. We moved here and I hate it. I was told so many things about this place and its all a lie. So I will save up and move the hell out of this place!

I feel bad sometimes. I keep passing out so I dont get to do so much with my daughter. It sort of makes me feel guilty, that I am being a bad mother? Despite my issues with my family, I can say I am thankful they are here to help me with my minion because if it werent for them, I wouldnt be able to take care of her in this condition!!!

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4 thoughts on “Sick

  1. Dearest Nadira,
    I was heartbroken to hear what your going through due to your medical conditions. I’m sending You Love & Healing Light. I have not posted on what’s been going on with me other than letting all know I have not been well. I would like to share with you, as I Understand. Not having the energy, or feeling like doing anything but to lay in bed. In January a ct scan revealed both left & right, and upper & lower lung fields with ground glass nodules and enlarged lymph nodes in the lungs. The Cardiologist wants me to see a Pulmonologist to do a biopsy to rule out lung cancer. This has not stopped me from smoking shame on me. My most significant issue is that I have an implanted pain pump for intractable back pain. It was to be replaced before January this would have been my 3rd one. Due to our insurance the surgery centers want the full family deductible in the tune of $6800.00 just for my procedure which I don’t understand.
    My pump battery shut down in the end of January and this has left me having to take pain pills by mouth, as compared to getting morphine directly in my spine. This is not the same pain coverage. As we had recently moved, we are still living out of boxes. I do need to make the appointment with the lung man although I feel so rotten all the time I don’t even want to drive. I’m not fearful of what I have a feeling the out come maybe as I’m noticing changes. Honey I do Understand and if you would like to correspond when your feeling up to it, I would like to be there for You as your Friend and Support system. My email is astral_travler@hotmail.com
    Some days are better than others. Hang in there Darlin and know I Only Wish The Very Best for You!
    Big Hug
    Your Friend,
    Anastasia

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