Stressed out

stressed-out-cat_med

So my Sir and I had an argument today. I wasn’t angry with him, just stressed out and it boiled it over. He went to look at a college today. He wants to go back to school. I am proud that he does, and supports his decision. The only issue I have currently is we are trying to sell the house we live in, so we can move to a one story home in a different area.

So I asked him, probably not in the best of tones why he was looking at campuses right now, when he doesn’t know where we are going to be moving too yet. I am a realist. I don’t day dream, or window shop. He does! This has been a constant issue between us. I need to know that he isn’t going to commit to something unless we are certain it can be obtained, or transitioned with us.

It would make no sense signing up for college here, and moving three hours away. So I was concerned and instead of something so little turning into a conversation, it became a quick argument in front of my parents. He snapped at me, I took offense, and the stress from this terrible day just erupted like a Mentos in a coke bottle.

I love my Sir very much, but sometimes I wish it wasn’t such a struggle. It is hard for us as a D/s couple because of our living situation. We live with my mom and dad because they are disabled and need our help, so for the most part our D/s is subtle and often non-existent unless we are alone. We are a basic vanilla couple, it is how we started out, but we want so dearly to be 100 percent TPE D/s.

During my day to day I have to make decisions for our family, and be the independent woman that runs things. I HATE THIS! Especially when I got all day making the rules, enforcing the rules, and making decisions to him instantly wanting my submission. Sometimes I feel like I cannot do this, other times I feel I cannot give up!

I am very sorry for arguing with you today my Master. I love you with all my heart and I will strive each and every day to make this work! I know my punishment comes soon, but I just want you to know that sometimes I cannot be in control of everything during the day. Sometimes the stress is too much and I need you to step in and say, “I got this one!” I need to know we are going to be alright financially, because my biggest fear is our daughter living under a bridge because we weren’t wiser!

I support your dreams and wishes, and I am proud you want to go back to school. I am just scared that doing so currently will put us farther into debt!

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