My mentor asked me to write an essay on my wish list for a Dominant. When I thought about this I really didn’t know what to write about, or what I found worthy of in a Dominant. My mind is so jumbled that it is even hard to think lately, and being sick is worse. So after a time I finally came up with a small list that at this time and place is something I need.
I need a strict Dominant that will make sure I follow my rules, and get my tasks done in a timely manner. One that is going to work hard to make sure I am striving for perfection in all I do, and focus on my family. My dominant has to understand knowing that some things I just cannot do because of my health issues, and that he understands that I need to take care of my daughter before him. Something I have found MOST Dominants cannot handle. He needs to be compassionate, not just to my daughter and myself but to others. I am a huge advocate for domestic violence, and abuse since I have experienced a ton of it. I like to reach out and help out my community, and donate and feed the homeless. I would like to have a Dominant that does these things as well.
My Dominant needs to be honest with me at all times. Even if he feels it will hurt my feelings, or make me cry. Lying to me voids ANY contract we are in, because let’s face it. Once a lie has been told, the trust is gone! I cannot serve someone I do not trust. Plain and simple! I would like him to be family oriented since I spend most of my time with my family, and I want to have at least one more child. I would like to be a in a long term, committed monogamous relationship. I have been in a Poly house, and from experience I am not interested in being in another. They aren’t bad people, or relationships, they just aren’t for me!
I would like my Dominant to be highly intelligent. Interested in a wide range of topics, and cultures. I want to travel, and learn, and experience things in life, and I feel if we share these similar desires it will make our relationship run smoothly. My Dominant should be stable mentally and emotionally, because I have a daughter, and I want her brought up in a good home. My Dominant should be loving to me, as well as my daughter, and his fellow people. Again this is very important to me because of my beliefs, and my lifestyle. (No I am NOT a hippie!!!)
As I am a very sexual person, I would hope my Dominant could be as well. Open minded and confident as well to explore kinks, and fetishes and not ashamed of them. I hope he could be accepting into my fantasies, fetishes and kinks as well, even if he doesn’t share the same ones. It doesn’t mean we have to experience them, but just accepting me as I am would be great. Then I could truly be open without being afraid too. I hope he too would be patient as some of my fetishes and kinks embarrass even me, and I may be a little reluctant to do something right at first. I might need a bit more patience and a push to get over the social norms in my head, and to truly experience something new.
I hope to find in my Dominant that he is out going, spiritual, and social no matter our differences in beliefs. As he accepts mine, I too would embrace and accept his. It would be nice to experience such things with my Dominant, but I know many people are not widely accepting of others spiritual and political beliefs. I would keep an open mind, and hope my Dominant as well would do the same.
Of course I want my Dominant to be social. Go to munches, events, parties, etc. Some related in the lifestyle and others that are vanilla. I just want to experience things with my Dominant but find a community in which we are all accepted for who we are and are not judged on by society. It would be fun as well to gain some hobbies that interest my Dominant and he could teach me, or we can do them together, just so we can share a bit more with each other.
Lastly, I think some personal space would be needed too. We don’t want to be around each other 24 hours a day. We would get sick of each other. So it would be good to be able to have our alone time designated so we can have that revamping we need to keep our relationship strong. I don’t know if anyone has ever experienced it, but when I go on vacation and then return home, I miss them so darn much that it’s like heaven. So I think this is very important. Of course these are all what I need or want right now; in the future it might change!